The Dangerous Duvet Cover vs Roronoa Zoro
by JeZoKatana-san
Summary: Zoro can't quite comprehend how to make his bed. He gives it a good go though, with an amusing outcome. Hints of ZoRo. Rated T for Zoro's language.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Came up with this when I was setting my own bed incidently. The thought 'what would Zoro do?' popped into my head and this little tale sprung to life. There is a hint of ZoroxRobin, but mainly just Zoro madness. I hope you understand my sense of humour, only a select few do, and I hope you are entertained by my story. :D

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**THE DANGEROUS DUVET COVER VS RORONOA ZORO**

"God dammed it!" yelled out Roronoa Zoro in frustration; flailing his arms in an attempt to disentangle himself from the constricting clutches of his pale cobalt bed linen. It was that time of the month where all the boys were told by an irate Nami that it was time to wash their sheets, because, to use her words 'they stunk like a sea king who had eaten a stinking pile of bandits washed down with the contents of a sewage silo's burp'.

All the guys, apart from Zoro, had finished ages ago, which only made him angrier as Sanji had commented on his way out: 'I knew you were weak, can't even win a fight with a duvet cover' this input had wasted a further ten minutes of Zoro's time fiercely battling the contemptuous cook.

This leads us to now as we can clearly see; Zoro can't make his bed, and is having a furious battle with his bed linen...to the death.

Now many people envisage Zoro as the demon with three katana, the deadly pirate, the force to be reckoned with. I bet if they saw him now, they would have thought him an imposter, as it seemed unthinkable the Roronoa Zoro would be beaten by a simple chore, which children could easily complete. It was degrading and humiliating.

"Why. Won't. You. Fucking. Fit!" yelled Zoro as he attempted again to cram the duvet into its uncooperative cover counterpart. Each word uttered was accompanied by a harsh shove from Zoro.

A few moments passed before Zoro slipped and fell to the floor accompanied by a long stream of enraged obscenity.

Now he was angry.

He pulled his katana from his waist and proceeded to completely annihilate the sheet. Shreds of blue cotton flew across the room, in the centre of the destruction was an infuriated Zoro, breathing deeply in an attempting to calm himself down.

"Oh, goodness," Zoro whipped his around at the soft tinkling laughter. Robin stood at the doorway an expression of mixed amusement and incredulity spread over her delicate features. She bit her lip to stop herself from laughing as she cautiously entered the room and stood in front of Zoro. Gently she took the katana from his grasp and smirked.

"Need a hand swordsman-san?" he looked at her, his cheeks were slightly flushed, as he replied with a hint of embarrassment, "I can do it."

"I don't think you can swordsman-san," teased Robin, "it doesn't work as well with swords."

He gave her a look that said clearly, 'get out'. Robin's shrug answered 'fine, have fun with that'. Zoro seemed to be battling with his ego, as very awkwardly he reached and touched Robins arm making her stop as she headed for the door.

"Yes Zoro?" she said without turning around, a smirk covering her lips, as she waited for what the swordsman had to say.

"Can…can you…"

"Can I, what swordsman-san?" baited Robin. He clenched and unclenched his fists and breathed heavily. Robin imagined tendrils of smoke rising from his nostrils.

"Help me," whispered Zoro.

"'help me' what?" goaded Robin

"Please" he croaked.

Robin grinned devilishly "ok, why didn't you just say you needed help?" the only reply Robin got was a low growl. She chuckled as she grabbed a spare sheet and advanced on Zoro's duvet.

In a matter of seconds the duvet was snugly inside the cover.

"How did you do that?" said Zoro, completely forgetting to be the tough guy.

"It's a secret," smiled Robin with a wink as she left the room.

Zoro stood bewildered as she left the room, before he smiled and followed her out into the sunny day. There was just something about Robin that made the world that little bit brighter from Zoro's eyes.

**The End**

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**AN: P**lease, constructive critisism is greatly appreciated and compliments drive my ever expanding ego! :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Zoro vs The Sake bottle**

Thirsty. This was Zoro's initial thought after his hours of training, water or juice would not quench his thirst however. He needed something a whole lot stronger.

Sake.

His desire guided him into the kitchen and towards the cupboard that held his heart's desire. He opened the door and extracted a dusty bottle.

It was old. The date on the bottle was indiscernible, even for Robin. The cork was held to the bottle with a thick layer of wax, but the liquid inside looked no different from any other. Undeterred Zoro wrenched at the cork, expecting it to fly out, unfortunately it did not.

Zoro frowned at the bottle and proceeded to reattempt the opening of the bottle. This proved useless however, as five minutes later Zoro does not have his delicious beverage.

He growls on frustration and violently bangs the bottle on the table. Still nothing. Not even a dent in the glass. This was humiliating for the swordsman, hours of training and he was being defeated by a bottle of sake.

He was so thirsty…..

He needed sake…..

He pulled on the cork once more, before deciding on taking more decisive action. He drew his katana. He raised said katana above his head. He swings katana towards sake bottle. Bottle is cut in half. Sake is spilt all over the kitchen.

Zoro stares at the mess he made, he probably should have thought about this before resorting to katana. He frowns, not only is he going to have to clean up the mess, but he doesn't get any sake either.

Grumbling he heads to the sink to retrieve the dish cloth, but then Sanji enters the room. Sanji's face contorts into rage when he sees what Zoro has done to his kitchen.

Usopp giggles as he watches the swordsman and chef fight. He smiles mischievously to himself, 'Usopp's master, piss off Zoro with non-opening bottle, plan' was a massive success. Whistling the sniper wanders off, still chuckling at his genius.


End file.
